Pour One Out
by Laser Lance 720
Summary: Sirius didn't get to say those words when they mattered. So he'd say them now. To his brother's grave.


**Astronomy** (Write a story taking place in one of the two wizarding wars caused by Voldemort and his follows. Extra Prompt: Sirius Black), **Mega Song Lyrics List** ("I can't take back the words I never said." – Skylar Grey, Words), **Gringotts** (Dialogue Prompts: True Blood Quotes: "I don't know why death still surprises me.")

-oOo-

Sirius stood in the grave yard, muttering curses at the wind attacking his robes. It was strangely chilly for June weather. He figured it had something to do with the freshly laid grave he was standing over. Not a grave, he reminded himself. A grave meant a body. There was just an empty casket below the dirt.

"I don't know why death still surprises me," he muttered at the grave stone. "We really are breakable, Reg. I used to think we were invincible. Nothing ever seemed to take us down. But I guess I was wrong about that. People just break so easily."

He chuckled humorously into the afternoon air. The graveyard was silent. He half waited for the generations of Blacks buried in the cemetery to rise up and chase the blood traitor away. They remained still and silent under the grass where they belonged.

Digging his hands into his pockets, Sirius turned his gaze back onto his brother's tombstone. "I don't know if you can hear me, wherever you are, but sorry I couldn't attend the funeral. I'm sure the family would have loved that. But I didn't want to run the risk of killing someone over your casket. It's not even your casket. Or I guess it is, you just aren't in I. Body wise and, well you know. I really don't know how this whole 'being dead thing' works, so hoping this works for you."

Once more he invited silence into his life. There were so many words he wanted to tell his brother, so many lies he wanted to correct. He didn't know if any of it would make a difference though. The man had died young. He had died foolishly. Nothing would bring him back.

"I should have protected you," Sirius spoke softer. "I should have done a better job of keeping you safe. I should have gotten you away from the family. And I didn't. I left you there, left you there with those _people_. I'm not even sure people is the appropriate word to use for them. Monsters seem more like it. Heartless, selfish monster. But I guess I'm not much better.

"Leaving you was selfish, I know that now. I just… the idea of getting away. The opportunity to be free was just too good to pass up. I never considered what my leaving would do to you though. You were the perfect son, Reg. The son our parents actually liked and wanted. I was just…"

In the distance, there was a rustling. Sirius looked away, catching sight of a rabbit moving across the grass. There was nothing there for him to eat though. Most of the green of the cemetery had shriveled away. Even the grass had turned a sharp yellow as if the pure hatred that ran through the Black veins had poisoned the ground. It probably had.

"I love you, little brother." Sirius knelt down, running his hands over his brother's name. It was written so elegantly. His date of birth was carved into the stone. The death date he figured had to be estimated. Regulus had been confirmed dead, but an actual date hadn't been given. The little dash between the dates drove Sirius to such levels of rage.

That was his brother's life; just a small dash. That was everything Regulus had even been. The refined, intelligent, and naïve man had been diminished to a line. Sirius figured though that all of them would be nothing more than a dash in the end. A dash and painful memories.

"I should have told you that more often. I knew the last time we spoke you said you hated me, and maybe you did. I won't blame you. But no matter what happened, you're my little brother and that means something to me. There wasn't anything you could have done that would have made me hate you. Even following that monster.

"I didn't support your choices in life, and I will tell you that you were damn foolish to follow that man, but I can't judge you. I can't hate you. I keep trying to make myself. If I hated you, if I distanced myself from you, it would make all this so much easier. But I can't.

"You're still the annoying little boy who I taught how to swear. You're still the kid who cried the night before Hogwarts because you were worried about your sorting. The kid who stood by my side no matter what our parents said. You're still my little brother, and I can't forget that."

Sirius paused for a moment, pulling a small flask from his pocket. He unscrewed the cap, tipping back a drink before pouring some out onto the grave.

"I hope they serve strong liquor wherever you are."

There was a swirl of Apparation behind him. Sirius turned, frowning at the sight of James a few rows behind. "Moody needs us for surveillance. They found Bellatrix. I can tell him you're busy."

"No," Sirius shook his head. He put the cap back on and shoved the flash into his robe pocket. "I'm done anyways."

Running a hand over the tombstone, Sirius turned from the grave and marched down the slope. He reached the man he had considered a brother for so many years. A bitterness spread over his as Sirius considered the fact that this relationship had been lost with his actual brother. War and prejudice had split them apart as young men, and here he was at the grave and they were no closer than they had been years ago.

"You okay?" James asked.

"I'm fine." Sirius tried to ignore the hitch in his voice. There were tears chilled to his eyes. He whipped them away, realizing for the first time that he had been crying.

He cast one last glance back at the empty grave, before turning away. This war had created so many early graves that Sirius had long ago given up the idea that any of it was fair. Fair wasn't a concept one could put to war. Not a one of the graves he attended deserved to be there.

Especially not this one.


End file.
